Why do we repeatedly attract similarly unhealthy intimate partners and relationship patterns? Should we seek to escape such seemingly self-destructive cycles through safer, less intense relationships? Or do these patterns serve a purpose that we must respect, instead using a new approach to harness their energies toward healing and growth?

In the midst of yet another challenging relationship, I deeply explore the unconscious roots and mechanisms of this “repetition compulsion” in the chemistry of our relationships. I also initiate a discussion about the dilemmas, paradoxes, catch-22’s, risks and rewards posed by two contrasting approaches to compatibility and conflict. In an era of dangerous polarizations and threats that demand engagement and resolution, it is a topic of great relevance to our families, society and world.

An Unreasonable Man is a great movie about Ralph Nader. But I was deeply disappointed by the fact that it focused deeply on how Ralph’s “spoiler” role in the 2000 election tarnished his legacy, while failing to mention the flaws in our election system that unnecessarily allow for “spoilers” to exist. Instant Runoff Voting, which I helped pass in Ferndale, Michigan in 2004, is a pivotal measure that can open up a fair playing field to more voices in our political system by eliminating the “spoiler” problem.

In this post, I call on Ralph Nader, the filmmakers of An Unreasonable Man, Nader’s supporters and detractors, and everyone interviewed in the film, to join together to promote such election reform and groups like Fairvote that advocate for them. By refocusing our discussion and energy away from the flaws of Ralph Nader or the Democratic Party and onto these reforms, we can still turn the shameful aftermath of the 2000 election into a success that brings constructive change and lasting justice to our election system.

Scheming – or creating schemas – helps us shape a clear understanding of how the various parts of systems relate and connect. It then empowers application through developing strategic, intriguing, and often subversive plans to create innovative change in the world – for better or for worse. After a period of undefined frustration, a discussion with a friend helped me pinpoint my recent lack of partners with whom to co-scheme as the root of my dissatisfaction.

In this post, I discuss what scheming means to me and its central role in my worldview and throughout my life in areas ranging from math, medicine and sports to relationships, politics and business. I explore key examples of special shared moments, evolutionary factors and enviably successful teams that explain the excitement and rewards of co-scheming. And, in the service of initiating connection and dialogue with dynamic new “partners in crime,” I describe the similar and complementary assets and qualities that I and they would ideally bring to such an emergent and generative partnership. Read my thoughts on the process and goals of co-scheming at its best and consider whether you might be one of the fellow co-schemers I’m looking for.

Reading Ishmael by Daniel Quinn in 1997 first exposed me to the idea that civilization is an inherently unsustainable and unhealthy social structure. But it took further reading of works by Quinn and Derrick Jensen, along with greater experience, to help me increasingly incorporate this understanding into my life. Most recently, Jensen’s work Endgame impacted me with a particularly convincing presentation of civilization’s shortcomings from the concrete and powerful perspective of physical resource dynamics.

In this post, I examine the paramount importance of internalizing the implications of our social structure’s fundamental flaws, the experience of facing the impact of this understanding, why it is to difficult to fully internalize, the variety of ways that people respond to the issue, and how my growing acceptance of it has influenced my life journey. I then discuss the process of finding our optimal roles in the re-emergence of health and sustainability and the invaluable role of community and support as we do so.

Conclusion (Part 8 of 8)

Note: This is Part 8 of an eight-part series. You may want to start at Part 1 of the series, Summary and Table of Contents.
There are tremendous challenges in our world today. Michael Moore’s films have been some of the most powerful channels through which many of us have become aware […]

A Formula for Fundamental, Sustainable Political and Social Change in America (Part 7 of 8)

Note: This is Part 7 of an eight-part series. You may want to start at Part 1 of the series, Summary and Table of Contents.

The Inseparable Roles of Moral Courage and Campaign, Election and Media Reforms in Fundamental Political and Social […]

Campaign, Election and Media Reform as Central Themes in Michael Moore’s Work (Part 6 of 8)

Note: This is Part 6 of an eight-part series. You may want to start at Part 1 of the series, Summary and Table of Contents.
While none of Michael Moore’s films focus primarily on campaign, election and media reform, like the […]

Campaign, Election and Media Reform: Levers and Leverage Points for Improving Our Society (Part 5 of 8)

Note: This is Part 5 of an eight-part series. You may want to start at Part 1 of the series, Summary and Table of Contents.

Moral Courage Alone Isn’t Enough
Clearly, moral courage, as discussed in Part 3, Moral Courage: A […]

Moral Courage as a Central Theme in Michael Moore’s Work and Life (Part 4 of 8)
Note: This is Part 4 of an eight-part series. You may want to start at Part 1 of the series, Summary and Table of Contents.
I believe, and seeing Sicko again reinforced, that Michael Moore is one of our greatest examples […]

Moral Courage: A Required Virtue for Improving Our Society (Part 3 of 8)
Note: This is Part 3 of an eight-part series. You may want to start at Part 1 of the series, Summary and Table of Contents.

Psychological Dissonance: The Cost of Keeping Quiet
In our society, we have a great number of “elephants in the room” […]